Spring is Coming, I Can Feel It

I am sitting here at my desk, yet again.  I often find myself here at my desk when I should be cleaning my room.  I also often find myself cleaning my room, when I should be here at my desk.  That's just the way life is for me at SPU...constantly distracting myself with the endless variety of other things to do.  I look out my window and I see students slowly trickling their way back to the dorms after their finals.  Some are going back to bed.  Others are going to study for more finals because for some, the finals never seem to end.  And then there are the ones like me, who should be packing and getting ready to head out, but find themselves endlessly distracted.  We're all so close to Spring Break, but it feels as though it will never come.

It's been "so close" for weeks now, can't it just be here now?  Our lives for the past few weeks have been like the tree that is right outside my window.  We're the blossoms on the end of the branches, waiting so desperately for the cold of winter to die down.

I became acquainted with the tree on move in day, which was six months ago.  How did time fly so fast when it was full of times like these, where each day drags out as long as possible?  On move in day, the tree had big green leaves on it and I was nearly too busy to even notice.  As the quarter went on, the tree began to lose its leaves as we began to lose sight of high school and adjust to the wonderful new college life set out before us.  When the tree's leaves were completely gone, I was able to look into the main lounge and watch certain someones play the baby grand.  I left the tree for Christmas while its branches were bare and all I could see was its sturdy trunk.

When I returned after an exceptionally long and snowy Christmas break, the tree was still there, looking just like it did when I left it.  I woke up four times over the quarter to a tree covered in sticky white snow, some days were fluffier than others.  Those mornings were always so quiet because I was up at 8:00 on a Tuesday or Thursday (unheard of in college!).  I would walk across the deserted campus shivering, wishing that I could watch the snow with a cup of cocoa in my hands, wrapped in a blanket.  The snow would be gone by 9:30, though, so I never would have had these precious, quiet mornings, had it not been for my 8:30 class.  It was a good class, but I am most thankful for these four peaceful mornings that the 8:30 hour provided me with.

When mid-terms surprisingly hit us, I looked out the window and saw green popping out of the branches.  New life had appeared overnight and it was beautiful.  Later on in the quarter, my crazy English teacher taught us all a valuable lesson about winter and the transition into spring.  She couldn't help, but notice the green on the trees outside the windows of Demaray 356, so she shared with us her views on the matter.  "Winter is a long hard journey," she said, "BUT YOU KEEP GOING!"  And now look outside the window and look at the new life exploding out of all the trees.  They were quite encouraging words during our exceptionally long winter quarter.  Now, every bird that chirps and every flower that blooms reminds me of her lectures on love and peace and perseverance.  My last quote from Suzanne Wolfe:

"You can sit on your ass for A THOUSAND YEARS wishing for wings and never get there.  OR you can get up and put one foot in front of the other, go for as long as it takes and eventually you'll get there."

She's right, all it takes is the courage to put one foot in front of the other.  This quarter, that required getting up when the alarm went off and heading to the classes I didn't want to be in.  It required taking time out of my busy days to simply rest, to sit, to listen to God.  It required praying about the questions I had and waiting patiently for the answers.  Answers which led me to have difficult, yet necessary conversations.  Answers which led me to tears at some points and laughter at others, but which ultimately led to the peace of mind I so desired. 

Now there are tiny pink buds nestled in between the bright green leaves.  They have been there for the last two weeks which have also been the busiest and most stressful two weeks of my life.  I just wanted the trees to blossom and show me spring, but they have thought otherwise.  Slowly, more buds come each day, but no blossoms.  The buds, just like God, have been telling me to wait.  It's not spring yet, spring will come when it is time.  You can't rush nature, no matter how much you desire to.  So, here I sit, staring at the hot pink buds, imagining what they are going to look like.  Of course, once I leave today for Disneyland, I will forget about the tree.  I will be in the warm weather of California with my family, what more could I ask for?

The tree will probably blossom while I am away, but I have come to accept that fact.  I will return to a new quarter and a new outlook on life.  No more winter blues, instead the hope and freshness of spring!