Thursday, May 6, 2010

An Unending Winter

Yesterday, the high was 52 degrees and the low was 41. CINCO DE MAYO and it's 40 degrees? This is not Spring Quarter. Where is the sun and where is the joy? We are in the middle of Week Six and I have yet to feel the ease of sunny days and love exploding out of everyone around me. Why is there still so much pain and hurt in so many lives? Why do questions that have been asked for so long still remain unanswered?

I am happy where I am, yet the world seems to be crashing down all around me and that does not make me happy at all. The world crashes as my dear friend calls me from across the hall to come and hold her as she cries. The world crashes as another reads about the murder of "a man from Edgewood" who is not just a man from Edgewood, but her uncle. The world crashes as the curly haired senior who always has a smile on his face no longer smiles. It crashes in failed tests, broken friendships and messed up plans. These are not the feelings of spring, these were supposed to be gone at the start of the quarter. These are feelings reserved for the darkness of winter that melt away in the sunshine of spring.

Isn't that the whole idea of spring? There is new growth all around and the rain washes away the murk of winter. Yet I don't feel it at all. But perhaps some springs are harder than others and maybe the murk of winter is just a little thicker. Or perhaps the new growth is painful to appear. Yes, I understand that. This last winter was indeed harder than those in the past. And the growth that has appeared from brokenness has been much harder to come by. But I know the sun will come out. It always does.

I don't want to sound depressed, because I'm not. I want to get across the point of hope. There is so much hope in these cold winter days of May. Just think how beautiful it will feel when the sun finally does come out. Eventually these cold drops of rain will wipe away the sadness that is in our lives. And the growth that has occurred in so many lives will flourish and become something completely beautiful. Maybe it will come tomorrow, if we hope hard enough.

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