What Makes Me Me?

I arrived at home after class yesterday and realized that for the first time in...a long time, I had nothing pressing to do. My Christology paper was turned in, my reading review for Dr. Ediger was completed and I didn't have an assignment for Dr. Stiling's class yet. I didn't know what to do. I was struck by the fact that I was standing in my living room and I had nothing that I had to do. Sure, I could actually do my UFDN reading or I could start on next weeks reading review OR I could not do those things and I could catch my breath. I stood paralyzed in my bedroom deciding what to do with the two hours of free time staring me in the face and decided after a few minutes that it was time to leave Queen Anne. I hopped in the car and headed to the Trader Joe's in Ballard to do my grocery shopping (because Queen Anne stopped carrying my favorite mango chicken sausages) and then I would buy delicious, quality, affordable produce from Top Banana. After the errands, I drove as far West as 65th would take me and I arrived at Sunset Park. I pulled out my hazelnut Ritter Sport and savored the bites as I stared at the sky.

It was one of those afternoons where the beams of sunlight burst through the clouds as though God himself is shining down on earth. As I pondered the beauty of God, I remembered seeing similar beauty last summer from the window of my room in Schladming. It's been 8 months since I left for Austria and I have been wondering how exactly that time has changed me. God knows I'm not the same now as I was before I left and I'm definitely not the same now as before I came to college. It made me wonder: what are the things that have shaped me into who I am right now? Here are my top ten:

1. My Parents who have a profoundly deep love for one another that is the most beautiful love I have ever seen. They inspire me to find such love of my own and also make me worried that such love could never exist in anyone else.

2. Noah and Kristi who loved me, even when I was a pest. After they got beyond the mullets and baggy T-shirts, they taught me to be cool. From music to books to wine, they have taught me what is fantastic and what to avoid.

3. Bethany Community Church embraced me the day the Dahlstroms came to Seattle. I am blessed to have a church family that still knows me, loves me and supports me, even 15 years after I arrived.

4. My Grandparents who have overcome immense difficulties in their lives and have lived through several wars. From Pearl Harbor to the battle over which city to live in, they have managed to still love. Through the death of loved ones, they have managed to see life. Through the despair of the world, they have managed to find hope.

5. Upward Bound: Five weeks in Austria where my eyes were truly opened to the God of all creation and where I was enveloped by his love. It was an experience where my soul overflowed and where I found myself to be most true.

6. Violin Lessons which provided an excellent relationship with a teacher who became more of a mentor. Playing the violin is what led me to some of my closest relationships and greatest accomplishments in high school. In college, it brought me into Friends & Family which is like being in a band full of big brothers who will look out for me and pester me until the day I die.

7. Adelaide was the role I never got to play. How silly that a name on a cast list would make such an impact on my life, but had it not been for this disappointment, I never would have learned to let go of the life that I held onto so tight and I never would have changed my major to Global Development.

8. Fourth Hill of 08-09 was the community that showed me the immense love of Christ and the powerful joy found in relationships.

9. group reminded me week after week that I am called to spread the love of Christ in the world, that I cannot live this life on my own and that stepping into God's story is the greatest decision I can ever make. It led me not only to a change of major, but also a huge change of heart. Being on staff for two years has been one of the greatest challenges and greatest blessings in my life and I am honored that I am able to be a part of a service that is so dear to me.

10. HOPE. How did I not see the immensity of the hope we find in Christ? When I finally found it, life turned into a new direction. It has given me the courage to open my hands to the Lord and give Him my life fully and use me how He may.

Oh God, how I thank you for giving me this beautiful life. I thank you for the experiences that shape us. I thank you for the pain in the suffering that brings us new life. I thank you for the sunrises, the melodies and the relationships. I thank you for making me who I am. I thank you for making me me.