group

I remember the first time I heard the story of how my dad ended up becoming the pastor at Bethany Community Church. He had set some pretty high standards for God to meet and when God went above and beyond (a unanimous vote by the congregation to make him the senior pastor), there was no turning back. A similar thing happened to me last week. I'm on group staff, as you probably know. If you don't know, group is a weekly worship service at SPU and I am one of the 13 staff members. Over the last three years, group has played a huge role in my life and today marks another important day in my relationship to group. Here is the story of me and group:

Freshman year: I remember going to group the first week of school with the girls from my floor. I was excited to see Upper Gwinn transformed into a haven where worship took a whole new form. For the first time in my life I felt completely comfortable taking my shoes off in a worship service, sitting and standing as I desired and looking at art that students had created. group gave worship a new meaning to me. It wasn't just singing songs, it wasn't a church service, it wasn't a sermon. It was a strange hybrid of these elements, but more than anything it was a place where I was challenged to think more deeply about the words that I was singing. The lyrics of the songs fit so perfectly together with the scripture that we were studying. Then we began to sing that song that quite literally changed my life:

We must go. Live to feed the hungry. Stand beside the broken. We must go. Stepping forward. Keep us from just singing. Move us into action. We must go.

It was week after week of singing this song that made me realize a theatre major was not for me and there was a better fit. I let go of that plan and then asked God to give me a new plan. This leap of faith was not one that I was familiar with taking and I realized that this was a turning point for me. When I applied to be a student ministry coordinator and didn't get it, applying for group staff began to look like a very appealing option. I loved attending every week and I felt like I owed it to group to be a part of it the next year.

Sophomore year: The year began with an exhausting leadership retreat and I quickly began to doubt my decision to be on group staff. I decided to be on the staff of the service that was my place of worship, so where was I to find my place of worship? My heart was very uneasy and I was mad at God for the first time in a while. Something that felt like the perfect call was all of a sudden feeling very wrong and I was frustrated. But after one Wednesday in a pile of tears, everything began to get better. After a second leadership retreat, I realized that providing a place of worship for 300 students every week was a big deal and I felt blessed to be a part of it. In the words of my dear friend Stephanie:

God touches us with His love so that we might touch others with His love.

Freshman year had been a year of being filled with Christ and sophomore was my chance to pour it all out. An agonizing decision came into my life at the beginning of spring quarter: to be on staff again or not to be on staff again? The choice was basically mine and as soon as I said "no way," my heart was uneasy and I cried my eyes out when I realized my schedule would conflict with group. I went into my interview and laid out several scheduling conflicts before them and said I desperately wanted to be on staff. They took me and the conflicts worked themselves out.

Junior year: A (once again) reluctant heart headed out to leadership conference, but after about one second with this staff, I was overjoyed. This year has been excellent on several levels, but I have been participating with staff as though this was it...no more group after this year. Until about ten days ago. My one condition was this: I would not even consider applying for group unless Bob personally asked me to be the coordinator. The condition was far fetched and I thought there was about a 5% chance of it actually happening. I opened my email last Wednesday and there was a one line email from Bob:

Hmmm...has Holly ever considered applying for coordinator?

God, you've got to be kidding me, I said to myself as I remembered my one condition. I told Bob that I couldn't do it because I had no time. A cop out answer for sure. I quietly went into his office the next day and asked him to print off an application and told him that it didn't mean anything. Then I gave my references their forms to fill out. When I couldn't sleep that night, the answers to the questions on the application were racing through my mind so I filled out the application and turned it in the next morning. When Bob told me on Tuesday that nobody else applied for the position I said, "Okay God. You win." I went to my interview this morning and got the call offering me the position this afternoon. I smiled a big smile as I said, "Yes, I would love to accept."

Senior year: Shoot, there's no knowing what next year will look like. There is the potential of an entirely new staff. There are some crazy books of the Bible to study. There are hours and hours of very hard work. There are many afternoons in Bob's office. What I am certain of: this is exactly where I am supposed to be.

So there you have it. Holly Dahlstrom: group Staff Coordinator. Those are some words I never thought I'd say, but I must say, I'm glad to say them now.