And Then It Was Autumn

I am sitting at my desk in my new room that I will call home for the next nine months.  It is cozy here and I like it, but it's not quite the same as home.  I am writing this as I hopelessly try to avoid the sociology paper that awaits and I am daydreaming and letting my thoughts drift through the rain that falls outside my window.  Fall is finally upon us and this fall is unlike any other I have ever experienced.

The leaves started to change weeks ago, yet I have only been in school for 10 days.  I now eat waffles and chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast instead of the usual bowl of Rice-Krispies.  At some points, it all feels so perfectly wonderful, but at other points I find myself crying because of all that is changing so fast.  Nobody likes change, even good changes have their own set of struggles.  Even chocolate chip pancake change.  So now, as things become more regular and the rain falls more steadily, I stare into space and wonder what lies ahead.

I wonder what I'll be thinking when the brightly colored leaves are no longer on the tree outside my window.  Will they be thoughts of peace, of excitement, of joy or of uncertainty?  I so often think "God only knows..."but I so wish he would tell me what lies ahead right now because I presently have absolutely no idea.  When people ask me my major, I clench up with fear of the unknown or the fear that what I choose will decide the rest of my life.  Yet I look at my pastor father and his education in architecture and it puts my mind somewhat at ease.  Ease that tells me I can do what I love and that I'll end up doing what I'm meant to do, all in due time.

  

I am confident that I will learn what I am meant to do because my faith in Christ has grown profoundly in the last ten days.  Through the past week, I have prayed to God more times in a day than ever before and this huge adjustment to college has caused me to grow so much deeper in my faith...and it's only been one week.  It is so amazing to be able to go to college and pray before you build a set and discuss the role that Christianity plays in the subject you are studying.  It's refreshing and it is helping me to look at the world differently.  This new feeling towards Christ is helping me so much and I am so excited to see where it will take me.