No one laughs at God in a war.
No one's laughing at God
When they've lost all they've got
And they don't know what for.
No one laughs at God
On the day they realize that the last sight they'll ever see
Is a pair of hateful eyes.
No one's laughing at God
When they're saying their goodbyes.
(Regina Spektor, "Laughing With")
Five years ago she jumped and the world stopped. We all closed our eyes, took a deep breath and desperately hoped the nightmare would be over the second we opened our eyes again. When we finally had the courage to open our eyes all we saw was reality staring us in the face: she was gone. When I stare out my window every night at the Aurora Bridge I see a beautiful sight, but there is also fear. When I see lights flashing I pray to God that no one else has jumped. Please God, don't let anyone else feel the pain that so many have felt due to this sort of a death.
On May 6 of each year, I am reminded that life is fragile. I have a friend at a memorial service this weekend for his dear friend who died three years ago. She was young. Why is there death of the young? Whether by accident or a moment of hopelessness, the death of someone so young is unfair. Talking about it with friends who have faced similar things, we all notice the same thing. Good things do come of situations like this.
But is it really worth it?
Is it really worth the loss of life for a group of stupid 16 year olds to realize that we ought to be nicer to one another? I struggle with this logic, yet it seems the only explanation. It seems that we are all moving too fast. We are so caught up in our own worlds that the only way the world can get our attention is by yelling at us. My hope for my life is that I will learn how to stop. Look at the stars. Listen to my roommate. Walk to the store. Go out of my way. The world is too big to face alone...hold onto the love you have and never let go...not for anything in or out of this world.
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